Mags on Computer Errors

"Enter a numeric character?! The number 5 is numeric, assholes!"

Bro on Successfully Managing Everyday Stress

"I may sound distracted ... That's because everyone has lost their minds. Everyone. And, it's slowly trickling down to me. But, I'm not going to lose my mind. I am going to keep it together. Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Mags on Converting Me to a Robert Redford Lover

"You need to watch The Sting. I didn’t get the whole Paul Newman and Robert Redford thing until I saw that movie. It came out when they were both young and good-looking. Yeah. It’s all about The Sting."

Bro on Mags' Dedication to Her Masters Degree

"What's wrong with her? She's a weirdo. Why is she working so hard? It's not like they are paying her."

Mags on Starting Her Day

"Coffee is just awesome. Can I tell you that?"

Bro on Demi Moore

"She's not a slut anymore but she was a slut. She has been a slut in a lot of movies."

Bro on Management Styles

ME: “If I were running [NYC nonprofit], I would whip it into shape. Sometimes you have to be a dictator.”
BRO: “And, sometimes you need dick. You wouldn’t be a dictator if you got dick on a regular basis. You need to get laid; loosen you up a little bit.”

Mags on The Beastie Boys

“They were like Kid Rock, pre-Kid Rock. You know, like, that combo Rock-Rap. Know what I mean?”

Mags on Guy Photos That I Sent Her

"He's the man of 10 faces. None of them look the same ... Are you sure it's the same person?!"

Mags on George W. Bush

George W. Bush: "Don Rumsfeld is doing a fine job ... I hear the voices. And I read the front page. And I know the speculation. But I am the decider. And I decide what is best. And what is best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense." [Quote Source: CNN,ABC News, Salon.com, The Guardian and others.]

Mag's Response: "He is fucking retarded!"

Bro on People Who Feel My Pain

"What 'pain' do you have?! You don't have pain."

Bro on Hating Today's Post

"You wrote about deodorant???"

Mags on the Gospel of Judas

"I'm too tired to have a deep conversation about anything spiritual or whatever."

Mags on My Type of Guy

"He just said: 'Well, I don't really have to say anything, just look at me.' Oh, that guy is soooo your type."

Bro on "Running Man Mags"

Mags: I've always been a runner.
Bro: Then why didn't you do cross country in high school?
Mags: Because I'm slow.
Bro: Oh, so you're not a good runner?

Bro & Mags on Health

Bro: Am I a hypochondriac?
Mags: Yes.

Mags on Grammar

Me: Yeah, I'm not gonna see my little Brit boy because now I'm not going to that professional conference.
Mags: Who?
Me: The Brit boy.
Mags: Who was him?
Me: What?!?!
Mags: I'm not repeating it. I'm embarassed that even came out.

Mags on Bills

"We should go back to the barter system."

Mags on Natural Body Responses

"I fucking hate hiccups."

Bro on Multiculturalism

"I'm not going to the Bronx. It's too far, and all I'm going to see is a bunch of Latino people listening to really loud music. I can get that here in Manhattan if I go to the right places."

Bro on Being a True Manhattanite

"I fucking hate Brooklyn."

Bro on Important Instructions

"Don't ever look at my toes."

Bro on the New York Mets Shea Stadium

“It’s Queens. Be prepared to fight.”

Bro on the New York State of Mind

"You have to remember that at least 1 in every 4 New Yorkers is fucking nuts."

Mags on Men Who Look Good in Mandals

"It can happen, but it’s rare. The shoes need to look good and your feet can’t be fucked up."

Bro on Being a Hypochondriac

"Where [in your body] is your pancreas? My side hurts. I think I have pancreatic cancer."